Sunday, January 31, 2010

Transparency (An Element of Doubt)


Its odd when you
Reach a modicum
of success and
people tear you down
like you had
nothing to overcome
dreams over run
with loved ones
long ago deceased


U R A Greedy man
U R Self serving and undermining
I Take no pleasure in calling you
Out and Tearing you down
But in your blindness you have
Been hurting other and you
Must be Made Aware

Friday, January 29, 2010

Terrific Unsubstantiated Pilot Writings In Egypt W Heiroglyphs


So it is and so it shall be, we meet again, Mr. Watson I presume. What's your problem. We'll see. I don't understand.

Don't you understand?

These are all excuses. And they are like buttholes. They are very much like buttholes and they are like armpits if the person is a quick thinker. They stink you see. They are also an inescapable part of us. Party bus. Particle Board. Just Bored. Bored Justice. Contaminated Despicable Particle.

Reprehensible, Indefensible Potential Pencil Necked Geek.

Really, what I want to say is Lebron; you're forgiven. Please don't be afraid to do your best. We can all live behind a white picket fence in the suburbs. We can all try. But those times are gone. Also, they never existed.

We are all sharks. They are all fish. The ocean is big. If it were made of beer, where would we piss? Nowhere is safe. Nowhere is the safest. Saudade para Pernambuco. Quiero voltar a Bahia. A praia. Eu Adoro viagem a praia.

Back to sharks, It all comes back to sharks. They are sea dragons. And sea horses, well they just look like sea dragons but they are much too small.

Where's my synergy? I would settle for some Syncopation. Or better yet, a little Synchronicity. Time you see, is chronos. Time eats its children. It is a passage. It is a tunnel. It is a boat. It is memory.
Gummy worms bag. Sugar high.
Summary: Maury/Deep thoughts in the ocean where the fish will Swim. Misanthrope/sycophant/maharishi

Dear Lebron (On Ur Endorsement U Fatty Pants)

Excuse moi, as the french say Lebron. I'm sorry to have to interupt like this, in a french accent. Umm, baguette. But Lebron, did these words actually start in free assocation with McDonalds and then come out of your mouth?
“We share many of the same core values, including a commitment to excellence and giving back to the community. I am also excited about the opportunity to work with Ronald McDonald House Charities, which helps improve the lives of so many children and their families around the world.”
Lebron, it has become clear that you are a fatty. Who else rides the jock of McDonalds in such slobbery fashion. How is it that you find yourself in such dire need of a big mac? Were you denied cruely as a child and now that you are doing ok you feel you must open wide for the McWeiner of corporate sponsorship? How much did it cost to make you talk like a precocious retarded liar dealing in generalities?
Did you say that McDonalds helps children and their families in the world? Where is you brain located? Your ass perhaps? McDonalds is evil right? Its bad, it stinks and it sucks. One kid with cancer gets a teddy bear for the mob of the chunky husky babies that will never be weened off the salty sweet titty of powdered beef. And rainforests and shit. Its recycled roadkill!
Lebron, next time. Before you accept millions of dollars to say something stupid and undermining, please consider all the fat kids out there who rely on you for moral support. No picture for you today.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Dinosaurs Were Ginger; Scotland Legitimized. Very Awesome

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=123018405

Also I got a cane today when I visited the Dr.'s office. It is the least pimpin' probably as a cane could be. Pimp canes aren't fucking adjustable! Even I know that.
They had me leave on crutches and hung the cane up on the crutch handle. The weather was inclimate but I was prepared.

Oh and used Ferrari's are only like 50 to 90 thousand dollars. Maybe I'll buy one later. Probably.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Of All The Lobsters U Know

So Just Dance...
How Many Dance Like This???

Dear Lebron (On Using Your Vascular Structure As A Model For Urban Public Transportation)



When was the last time your blood was late getting to your heart? HAHAHAHAHA, what a silly question that is to ask you! You would be dead. The reason I asked you this is because in the American city that I live in, the transportation is major shitty. Because it is train based and the trains are always late is the main reason. But now is the time Lebron for a journey into the mental realm of imagination. If you are having trouble you only need to remember the last time you slam dunked the basketball and then pretend you were having sex at the same time, that is called using your imagination. Imagine for a moment that your BLOOD is a TRAIN. Really you can imagine now, the city would be so nice. Nobody would throw trash into the tracks if they were actually throwing a doritos bag into your jugular. Ubermensch, more like uber-Munch! So that's my big idea. And here's how we're gonna do it. First. Make a map of your veins. Only the big ones, the little ones dont matter. Trust me. Then we take that map and we (some guys I hire later) superimpose that map on a map of my City. Then....BOOM. We construct it right on top of where the stupid trains are now. The secret is marketing, its all in the marketing. We will hire a guy who looks like Don Draper to do the marketing. He will come up with something like 'The Blood Trains' or 'Lebrons Red Cell Express'. He will command a princely sum. So then the city will be nice and everyone will get to work on time or a little bit early, which is good for the economy.

On a side note, I have insurane. I used it to get surgery. Now I need a cane. I am certain the cane I will get will be lame. However, if I was a pimp would i get a pimp cane? I am sure pimp insurance is not as extensive as boring old office insurance. Maybe I will make a deal with a pimp. You get your insurance to buy me a sweet ass sword/umbrella/color-changing cane and next time you need surgery I will get my insurance to pay for some sweet arthroscopic with massage follow up kind of surgery.

Pimp Out!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Cane Shopping




Friends! Enemies! Fiends! Be wary! For I am cane shopping. And whence this cane is procured, oh my smarmy little swine flu piglets, the unruly wrath I will unleash on all of your bottoms will be like the fury of the Ocean! Bwahahahaha, I am the cane master, the canine cane caniver, the cageiest cane caddy since bagger vance! Mwahahahaha, I have technique and footwork. Sword-cane, Umbrella-cane, Bah, I need them not for I hook, jab and poke!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Imelda Marcos' Sock Collection

http://www.complex.com/blogs/2010/01/20/5-oclock-shuffle-gorillaz-santigold-future-trends-gucci-mane-more/

There is no easy way to be a cripple


I am driving up rainier with Luke. We are looking for a Pho place. There are so many but they are all closed or closing, must be a holiday or the end of the day. We find one where MLK and Rainier meet. Where the fish and chips under the monorail are now. We park and the asian lady comes out and tells us that we must repark. We do so. Syd comes down and parks next to us. We get out and instead of going into the Pho joint, which does look very good; warm and bright and clean. We walk up towards Beacon Hill. There is a huge drainage ditch made from big blue plastic barrels cut in half, it goes along the foot of Beacon Hill. As we walk we start to float. Petey is there now and Gloria. My mom pulls out two roaps, maybe they are electrical cords, they are about three feet in length. She hands one to me and keeps one herself. I hold onto Gloria and Syd Petey. We start to fly. Up the hill we go, up above and very close to power lines, the tall elephant grass blows beautiful in the wind coming up from the traffic on Rainier. We are adventurous now, fearlessly we fly down very close to the grass, it tickles our faces, this is fun. Looking up, the hill has almost reached its plataue. Jauntily we bring our power cords down to the ground and land. We crawl up the last section of the hill. It is very steep. On the road the police are arresting somebody. Petey walks up ahead and he is naked, no collar, no leash. I try to grab a hold of his scruff but he bows under my hand like a cat, very supple. The police looks but take no interest. We continue to walk up the street.

In the world, the killers kills you. In dreams, the killer works for you.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Dear Lebron (Mr. Lebron and The Knee)


My knee is like a punctured and retarded bean bag. Little scrunched up nasty cuts that multiply pain bullets in my achey legs. Oh you, you and your histrionics you mutter. Lebron, downwards into the basketball hoop you dunk. Well you just think about this for a second my Lebron; maybe the basketball hoop doesnt want to be dunked into. Did you ever stop for a couple of minutes in your busy life and think to yourself; maybe the basketball hoop doesnt want to be dunked into, and if so, certainly not in front of all these people. Now you come in all fat and happy and you jump all high and mighty into the air-space and dunk. Right into the basketball hole! What kind of way is that to treat a basketball hoop. You must be crazay. You're crazy man. Who raised you that way? In my day you had to buy caesar salad dinners and give the sincerest compliments before you were allowed by the basketball hoop to shoot even a free throw into it. You must have been raised in a barn.

My fucking knee hurts, it looks like a shitty balloon filled with nasty blood and crap. The vicadin button in my brain is broken because it hurts so goddam much and these pills just feel like water.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Cooking With Out Salt


My balls are salty, think about that! Some people are not eating salt for different reasons all over the map. For instance religious; hell is made out of sulfur which is also in salt. Or ethical; in Africa its hard for elephants to get enough salt in their diet naturally so they get shot going into this one cave where the guys with guns are.
You can cut the salt out of your life easy, can you tye your shoe laces correctly? But you whiney little butt screws say; what are your methods?
In first methodology I stop putting the salt in my food. I am talking about at restaurants, in bags of potatoe chips, while cooking, etc. and etc. Stop pouring salt all over your salty ass food!
Also, try adding things like garlic salt and pre mixed salt n' pepa. There is salt in these products but because they start with another word they are caterogized differently.
Finally, accept yourself for who you are. And that is a person that loves the joyful salty flavors.

After careful reaimaginings of outcomes from youthful transgressions past I find the current crossroads equally terrifying but the edge of horror nullified by the long line of similar endevours entrenched in our experiental narratives iconography. A steady stream of unknowable variables delivering strange reaffirmations in the reaimaginning of unchangable actions and reactions, both equal in their effect. Cartoonish zombie holograms describe deep trouble.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Dear Lebron (This is A Public Forum To Ask Lebron Any Question No Matter How Relevant)


A basketball hoop is a round circular metal hoop. There is a net attached; hence the name basket. Because in the olden days and in some gay countries like germany and sri lanka this is how baskets are still made to this day! This is a fact.
This is a question: Dear Lebron James,

Have you ever played basketball with your shoes off? It would be dangerous because the floor would get sweaty from your sweat. Also; think about how much it would hurt your feet to jump in the air and slam dunk the basketball with no shoes on! You cant do that, OUCH! But playing in just socks is no better because socks are slippery and slidey. I guess the best answer is to just play in your regular basketball shoes. Michael Jordan has good shoes, did you know that Lebron James? You do too, but not really.

Anyways I bet you have all kinds of crazy basketball stories, and now that I have opened the dialogue up I am going to sit back and let the good times start rolling. Start by telling me about the first time you played basketball and then every basketball related story you have experienced or been aware of moving chronoligically forward and occasionally sideways through the passage of time. Ok GO! Just Kidding Lebron. You can only tell me one story and then I am going to take a nap to help me digest that big burrito I ate for breakfast. Goodnight.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My Door is Always Closed With The Door Locked


But Feel Free to Knock Quietly and Linger Tentavily Before Going On Your Way

Gold Tooth - Worth1000 Contests

Gold Tooth - Worth1000 Contests

Really and Truly (Really in Reality)


Animals With No Faces
Are like Objectives
Expressed in Timelines
With no Deadlines

The hand of God is righting this, with a fist, He's punching my brain now and I'm punching the keys. Its raining now, in my mind. Its rainy, hail, and wind. They are a combo. Quakes in Haiti. This is short fiction. How timely and relevant. Our lives, so intertwined. Was he Haitian, that man this morning who was being a jerk, perhaps it was a global even then that he was so obstinant in facilitating a timely doctors visit.
I wonder what it would be like to...What is a goal for a dog. Had a dog ever scored a touchdown. Clearly I am missing my dog. He is dead and with God. Maybe he thanked God for all those touchdowns he scored as a dog. Pissed on a tree; touchdown. Humped another dog; touchdown. Smelled a butt; touchdown. Barked at night; fieldgoal. Gooseshit; superbowl.
But what about me! Yeah I said. ME! Did you know that the words me and no both contain only two letters and are key to reaching any sort of happiness. The bitch of it is though, they should never be used in conjuction unless it is in the superlative negation sense. or of course in denial, that is when those two words come togethr like Voltron. 'Who Me?! NO, never'

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Electric Puppies


Hurtling through time and space, stopping only for the briefest of moments at the turtle casino, I realize myself. Here I am walking down the street, tall and slender with a double chin. Hving just hung up my cellular phone after leaving a long and cryptic voicemail for my griflriend to discover upon the taking of her lunch break (PST) I cross paths with a very high up and influential figure from my employment place. hi x I say, hello you he says to me. How nice. And now I continue to walk down the street with vintage trepidation but ground breaking audacity in the face of aggresive dick breath automotive motor vehicles. Beep they say, suck my balls I reply. And when I reach a certain point, the sunny east side of the street, across from the big heavy church, I call an old friend. It is good and nice. Very impolite and I like all my conversations to be. Then I go to the big blue and yellow retail store, a young girl of indeterminate race takes my unworking or useless webcam and through the magic of button pressing and computer staring makes fifty something dollars mine after they were formerly someone above hers. Oh you sweet silly old fifty something dollars, I missed you so while you were away and now that you are back I am as happy as a deflowered school girl with her secret still intact. Silly happy, fulfilled but unkown, a hacking cough, word bombs being dropped, a heckler heckling an unmoving mass of mobile men and women. I could tell he was lying by the fuckin was his lips was moving'. Situps, chinups, pushups, pullups and stickups. How to get strong.
Anyways, I want a dog or a cat. Something handsome and difficult and especially quarelsome in the early morning when I am most sleepy. Lots of black fur but some white fur and brown fur sort of sprinkled in there too. Maybe a splatter pattern, I dont know Im not picky. But I cant have one of those now. At most I can start to think about a fish, one of those little fish with the big fins and the long jaw and an underbite. Would bitey be an appropriate name? Wind, Earth, Plants and Fire. Thats Feng Shui right? Not electicity and not puppies, but they are still nice

Monday, January 11, 2010

Friday, January 8, 2010

My Soliloquy


Is my theory
Me and whisky go together
like kitties and kitty litter
Bad kids with no sitter
Too near me not to hear me
Cold as lake Erie
Paranoid in Illinois
The prize fighter
With the chi type writer
Famous Citrus Blunts
Grab the lime lighter
Rhyme Writer inspired

Go to the store and buy a 40 with my debit
type in the pin
drink the motherfucka and do it again

clipse + roots

People Traffic


I was eating a subway sandwich today (no this is not poetry) and it occured to me; me, this tastes like you. How do you mean I said, internally and I was answered by sweet onion sauce and dry yet greasy pepporoni. Aha, of course; bland but funky. The mustard and tartar sauce were ever so clear now, they were ever so clear ever since then. I am a subway sandwich. I cater to the people. the african people, the indian people, the russian lady with a fur hat who sat across from me at the table and stared at me while i stared out the window. She smelled like tuna and oil. But you know what made todays visit to subway so spectacular and special, so unique and turbulent? no, it was not because it was the first time in a while, no it was not because it was the first time in history that i made my five dollar foot long into a meal including chips of the oniony creamy variety and a drink which I refilled twice the first time with dr. pepper and the second time with orange soda NO! it was none of these things so stop thinking them! It was not because i ordered my spicy italian combination on a honey oat bread and chose to add swiss cheese, lettuce onions and tomatoes and olives and pepprocinis and for this first time in history chose to call my pepporcinis yellow peppers instead of their god and italian given name NO! goddamit it was not these fucking things so stop with the goddam questions already. My friends, today was a perfect and impefect at the same time unique trip to the subway sandwiches store because it was the first time in our long and storied history that I went there completely without hunger. I was not driven there by hunger. And no, nor was I driven there by the thoughts of a cheap and relatively filling meal. I went there from habit, from apathy, I went to be with the people, the sandwich at 230 on a friday eating people, the smelly people and the skinny people. The people who in all reality should be eating somewhere better and the people who take too long and act like they've never been to subway before and the system baffles them. my friend in front of me, the system is ever so simple, so self evident and you a bumbling imbecile. You simply point and talk in loud and clear english that yes you do in deed want the olives. They are free. And when you fail to do so, you cause traffic. The most human of all conditions, traffic is a tragedy. People traffic, caused by opening doors, pulled out chairs mid stream changing minds causes a 36% slowdown in people walking everyday. People traffic.
http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=8605790&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" />http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=8605790&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="225">

http://vimeo.com/8605790">Mos Def Feat. Talib Kweli-History (Creative Control Color Edit) from http://vimeo.com/user471763">Creative Control on

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Centavo's on The Real


Get off me pennies, dont lean on me. I am a dollar. Get it. See that photo? That is what the inside of my mind looks like. The inner city. It is a slum. Does that suprise you? It should not. It is not only me my friends. Of course our inner most minds are slums. That is the id, the desire factory. Poor people love things in great quanities, especially themselves. Crabs in a bucket love lots and lots of crabs, or worms, or hair bands, or rubber bands. I had an intention when I started writing this particular to post to have it be one that made sense. That seems to have died out. The first couple sentences of this post being only a few words long sort of changed the tone of my internal dialogue from one of great and reaching thoughts into one of clipped tones, which I guess is what I like interpret as a poetic mindstate. Is that a word, poetic? I guess so. Theres so many words. But you know how boring haikus seems long and interesting ones seem like movies? I always start my blogs in my mind a couple minutes before actually writing them and I always start with the title first. And when I am thinking of titles they never make sense and I always have fifteen or thirty different wants. I want to give you some examples of what i was planning to start this blog with but they have all flitted away forever? Yes, it does, because the universe is an infinite place and I dont need those stinking ideas back, I will get new better ideas and when they leave me too it will be cathartic. Does that mean that the one that bubbles to the top and dominates over the other titles as the dominant one is the best? No it does not, it only means it is the loudest and most staying. Most staying? Is that even a phrase? No, it is not.

Well this post is really coming along nicely. Its got sentences and questions and answers. I suppose that is all for the moment. And now some nice clipped poetry.


Only God Can Judge Me

Only Blog Can Move Me

Tupac is Masculine

Cats are Feline

I like to Roller Blade

All Along the Boardwalk

High Fade

Snoop Doggy C-Walk


Hooray the Boy Said, Hoooooooray I won Second Place in the Palace!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Imp simplification


Patience is a virtue?

A Virtue! Thats the end of the discussion. It was rather one sided then wasn't it. Rather uneven. A teacher-taught relationship. Tense. Makes sense I guess. Makes dollars doesnt it. Real live dollars in a real bank account. If you have fake money then you have a baloney bank account and stock in oscar meyers. I have cheese at home. American. Sliced with a little plastic suit, no tie. They must be from the west coast. I pull your cards, uno, check, green 9, check mate. Wild four, I go wild for anything with hot sauce. Grease and tofu. Too spicy take it back. Big fight, heart attack. Duane Reade, tampax. Did you know you can dye your pubes now. Any color you like. Does the carpet match the drapes? Is the drapes neon green. Yes, yes, yes. Love the panty pie, love the whip cream, love to swim uphill, love to run downstream. Run barefoot up the river, good for you hammies. Slam tequila shots with noodles, good for me mammie. Ticket for the red light, crashing at the green. 124 is the magic number, bumbaclot yadadamean. That tuna costs $177,000.00. Who the fuck loves tuna that much?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Disreputable

Wow, now that's anachronistic
this whole hyperbole is transitional
Highly disputed facsimiles are interpreted caustically
the causality is unimportant
the architecture is a buttress, it abuts the stubble
bustle, hustle, statuesque friendless
unpopular granular
sugar in the raw!