Dear Lebron (On Using Your Vascular Structure As A Model For Urban Public Transportation)

When was the last time your blood was late getting to your heart? HAHAHAHAHA, what a silly question that is to ask you! You would be dead. The reason I asked you this is because in the American city that I live in, the transportation is major shitty. Because it is train based and the trains are always late is the main reason. But now is the time Lebron for a journey into the mental realm of imagination. If you are having trouble you only need to remember the last time you slam dunked the basketball and then pretend you were having sex at the same time, that is called using your imagination. Imagine for a moment that your BLOOD is a TRAIN. Really you can imagine now, the city would be so nice. Nobody would throw trash into the tracks if they were actually throwing a doritos bag into your jugular. Ubermensch, more like uber-Munch! So that's my big idea. And here's how we're gonna do it. First. Make a map of your veins. Only the big ones, the little ones dont matter. Trust me. Then we take that map and we (some guys I hire later) superimpose that map on a map of my City. Then....BOOM. We construct it right on top of where the stupid trains are now. The secret is marketing, its all in the marketing. We will hire a guy who looks like Don Draper to do the marketing. He will come up with something like 'The Blood Trains' or 'Lebrons Red Cell Express'. He will command a princely sum. So then the city will be nice and everyone will get to work on time or a little bit early, which is good for the economy.

On a side note, I have insurane. I used it to get surgery. Now I need a cane. I am certain the cane I will get will be lame. However, if I was a pimp would i get a pimp cane? I am sure pimp insurance is not as extensive as boring old office insurance. Maybe I will make a deal with a pimp. You get your insurance to buy me a sweet ass sword/umbrella/color-changing cane and next time you need surgery I will get my insurance to pay for some sweet arthroscopic with massage follow up kind of surgery.

Pimp Out!