Thursday, September 30, 2010

Future Value of Time


At some point in the future does the meaninglessness of the present moment become useful? I am investing my nothingness into something more valuable. Is there anything more valuable than time? Water? I dont know, we are mostly made of water, watery soup wandering the earth in search of meaning, slowly being slurped away by a young woman with a cold. Last night I Dreamed that I had bicycle, I was going on a bicycle ride and the chain slipped off the gears and I tried to put it back on the gear, but the chain was so big and clunky, and the tire so stuck to the ground that is was difficult. Also, the chain had hardly any grease at all, it operated almost from mechanical perfection. Then I dreamed that I was driving along an african street in the middle of the bush, the street was jet black and we were in a congo van. There were many people along the sides of the road, they were vendors. As we went further along the road, further into the heart of the bush the people had lighter and lighter skin until eventually they were Arabs. We got out of the van, Gloria and I, and we walked aroudn the different little tents. There was a feeling of hostility in the air until eventually we found our way into a little toy shop run by a friendly white woman. There were many different toys there but they were all variations on war toys. Lots of plastic guns, a lego tank and some helicopters. I devised a wonderful and viscious battle in my mind and woke up before I realized it.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Hairy Ball Theorem


You cant comb the hair on a coconut. Why would you try. Why would you ask that. Why would answer my question with a question. Are you questioning my question. Dont you even listen to me. Can that be an answer. Cant you understand. Stop combin that goddamn coconut! Consciousness, Dr. Tononi says, is nothing more than integrated information.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Gibbs Visual

Back in Black


Days, there are so many kinds, types and typifiers. Pain, there are also gradients of. But in my opinion, from a birds eye view things tend to be in a state of improvement, however from a grounds eye view things tend to devolve over a period of time. That is to say, you struggle today to next week things will be better. And this is the best attitude to take when you are accepting that life is pain, dull and unrelenting. However, what is to be said of those days that are typified by the sense 'its one of those', just another day, another thought, more recycled cat food to throw up in my mouth and swallow for dinner again. Squiched trains and sardine people. The daily commute, like cows. Do cows hate each other? Are they fundamentally greedy? Preying on the weak and the downtrodden, praised when the plot is succesful and the people are fleeced into breeding a version of success that can be easily accounted and quantified. No one. Not even me, is good.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Responsibility


Please. Lets all take this moment to fully acknowledge and consume the idea that we are all equally not at fault. Its not my fault and its not yours, nor even is it the fault of the third party. I may hate the third party, but still it is not her fault. No, there is no fault, and no work other than that of overcoming the human condition of assigning blame to things, persons, or objects. We are all perfectly buoyant, floating through life until we are no longer. The assignment of blame is a wieght on us. At first a ballast, but eventually our downfall. So let us all let it go. Eat candy, fart, stink up your space and move on. Fuck it.

Eastern Thoughts



I believe, as of today and this instant that my existense proves nothing. No Descartes, you can suck my balls. Because that affirmation of life, of existance is both abstract and macabre. It takes my existence into a place of complacence. I feel sick from it. No, I choose to feel that my existence proves nothing, and simultaneously that my existence is not unique from the phenomenon that surrounds me. I may be observed by beings I recognize as separate from myself, hear thier obersvations and gestate them, but that does not necessarily make me a separate entity from them and consequently that does not prove beyond any doubt that my existence, evidenced solely by recognition in truth of the comments and reactions affected by my surroundings, is meaningful. And please be clear, that to comment that 'I am', that my existence is asserted is a meaningful statement. I choose, in a certain mood or when it may be more advantageous, to believe that I do exist as a separate and awesome being affecting my surroundings in a definite and intentional manner. However in my most base moments I choose to recognize or contemplate not my existence at all, so that when I come to a negative conclusion that the contemplation of my own existence is proof of a thing in and of itself, I wont be fooled into feeling that this affirmation is inspirational or useful in guiding myself to a happier or more peaceful state of being.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A Finite Intelligence


So its come to this. Procrastinating my day away, not for the purpose of money so pure and simple as that. No, rather for knowledge. To chase a rabbit down a hole to a world that is intellegent. Where I am celebrated. Maybe not as a god but as some sort of sports hero, or something similarly reasonable, maybe an astronaut. We all can see around us, as clear as day, that no one here is happy. There does not seem to be an escape from it either. Could we ever see each other as equals? Could I even ever understand in another person the uniquely human traits that keep me so alienated. The letter K, it will be more important to you than any other letter. It means, 'I am with it, I submit, the system moves me I dont move the system'. But Believe in yourself! Keep the push alive, from inside. Ride it, like a pony. You're a pony, I'm a pony. We are all magical pony's. We have little hooves and long manes. You and I and we all. We are all so happy in pony land. Hahaha, yes, this is it. Escapism. New years, both jewish and korean. We are all the biggest users of oil and coal, united in our polyglot of consumption. That used to be a disease, now it is a socialogical disorder. That seems to be more impossible to cure. But then again, aren't we all equally impossible. I know you are, so am I.