Maybe I Was Meant to do Nothing

When I was a younger man I thought of writing stories of an even younger me, building and sailing the boats I think I might be able to when I am older. I thought of the dories and the kayaks, and the garage at my childhood home. The smell of sawdust and epoxy, enjoyed through the filter of a gas mask. It would be a lot of work. The sanding, cutting, measuring, gluing, resting, sawing, drilling, opening, unscrewing, clamping. There would be a lot of clamping. Out on the lake though, in the reeds, in a boat of my own...It would all be worth it. Because I would be as a boy the man I hope to be. The job search of now wouldn't seem so daunting.
I wouldn't feel quite so hopeless, so without a destiny. I after all, had built boats. Yes boats! Not just one. That would never do. I built one and I liked it, but I saw how it could be better. So in a manner consistent with my morals and ideals, I found a good home for my first boat. I knew the boat would be happy there, and the owners were happy to have it. They offered to pay me market value, but I could not accept. It was enough that she found somewhere good to be. Eventually though I relented and let them pay me at least for the materials used. And I set my sights on a larger project, to be done faster and better, with more expert hands.
My first project was something of a puddle jumper. Something to poke through the reeds with. This next project was a little bit bigger. It would do more that float. It would take me away.
But that was all another time. Something that I missed because I couldn't focus. I couldn't understand that value then, of cutting out the easy things for the things that are hard but worth it.
And now I am a man without a boat, without a story about a boat, and without a passion. I am meant to do nothing. To reflect on the reflection in the water of a boat that I have built in my mind in 9 minutes. The water is still. Flecks spray off the bow as I paddle with a big dumb shit eating grin. In this world all my answers to questions scaled one through ten are smart, well informed, unique and insightful. I know what I want because I have a passion for passion. Employers love that.

On a scale of one through ten how helpful is it to ask questions scaled one through ten?