bowflex

shit on a tit with a zit on it. then the tit zit pops and the shit gets in the sore. the zit ooze is rushing out while the poo goo is rushing in. its a violent cross tidal cesspool of white blood cells and brown poo juice. the infection becomes infected. it grows and grows until...third tit. tit on tit next to tit. infection tit. i put my head in the haircut machine today. they've really worked out the kinks on those kinky little devils. my head is as clean and aerodynamic as an egg with wings. also that egg went through the dishwasher earlier, so it is clean and a little bit hardboiled and definitely not ever going to turn into a chicken. now my hats will fit more loosely and i will look like a true professional. stats it horrible, i guess you probably could have guessed. there is something about teachers with strong asian accents that schools find irresistible when searching for statistics teachers. its probably because probability being pronounced 'probabirity' is so goddamn funny. anyways, i will work hard and get an A. then i will shit on the teacher behind her back. no, i will start with shitting on the teacher behind her back and then get an A. to all things order must be assigned. be not jealous jew for i am creator of all things, yay. trying to loose all the chunk on my belly so as to reveal the stomach muscles. then i will be happy. oh the happy i will be. beans expand! shit son you dont even know. 6 cups makes a full bowl of beans. well this player knows what to pack when the apocalypse is nigh. some rice on the side. yum yum dum dum. lebron looks like am ubermensch. stronger, faster, smarter, meaner, funnier. if only i could have one more commercial shoved down my throat i'm sure i would be able to make a decision regarding the sandwich i should eat. is it subway? i have no way of knowing. my back cracks. i dunk. i take a dump. i bike. i eat. i clean. i cook. i am important. thank you nature. that sunshine does the trick. pimp.