to get ahead of the curve

Well several shorts memories ago we could have hardly seen such a thing as the present moment. Luckily through advances in medical science and calmness we now realize that the time we are experiencing now is in fact predertimined not from some fantastical place in the future where we are one with the universe but in fact from the ignorance that we expatriate with every moment we are alive and curious. Time was when we did not know who we were or what time was, and as luck would have it gaining the knowledge of a definition of time or in fact more likely creating that definition out of free air did not in fact endow us with any true knowledge of the mechanics of this concept of time, much less the abiliity to manipulate it or move through it in a fluid manner. Rather we are a set of images hastily strung together by a brain designed through generations to create a fluid sense of the world for the purposes of survival and surface level sanity. The eye moves and the pan is edited out instantaneously by the brain. All things look smooth. All looks are seamless. even though optically this is impossible, truly understanding the mechanics of such a thing are beyond the scope of the human experience. Even knowing that there is a limit to the human experience is probably not an ideal trait in an ideally happy person, but I suppose that is not what I am going for and it never was. And to whom should I credit this great deal of knowledge and unhappiness. To whom can I attribute fault. Applying it to myself seems a little unwieldy since I have already imbibed and been of so much unhappy knowledge. None of what I have learned leads me to believe that there is a great god in the sky who is capable of handling the responsibility of my disappointment in the human experience. I think then, that I shall blame all my unhappiness on the next very fat person that I see on the street. Not only fat, but tall too. Someone behind whom I could be totally eclipsed. Only a person of that girth, who is capable of concealing and holding my entire physical being would be capable of holding my entire set of nonsensical disappointments and unhappinesses. I would be pleased to find this person and probably reward them with an unwieldy stare. They could hold all of my fears and all of my hopes in their heavy, slow moving frame.