Principle of Reflection Described in Polarities

Strangulated Hernia

2012-01-31T23:17:00.000-08:00

I want to be taken seriously, and more importantly, take my work seriously.

I don’t want to focus on the failures of my past, but rather use negative energy to fuel rebirth

I understand the reason to put in effort is the expectation of a commensurate reward.

I have a legitimate chance of nailing it and I want to nail it!

Two Weeks of Insanity

2011-11-28T12:47:00.000-08:00

He put the rock in his pipe and put the butane flame to the butt of the glass. It jutted out from his lip at a crazy angle and when the heat hit the small rock it smoked and fumed and drew the dirty yellow vapor into his lungs. There was a harsh, sweet smelling, chemical burn and his eyes were transfixed on the blue of the clear yellow lighter that was catalyzing his meth. The smoke was potent and he began to see the light blue waters of American Samoa float up and up and his eyes looked down to see the gummed up and dirty dry concrete beneath his feet. He felt the sun rays hit his orange New York City skin. He believed in white sand, bone white and the red and white empty potato chip bag that lay there by his untied sneaker, he was a friendly crab scuttling home to his crabby wife. A fine watery line of spittle fell slowly from his mouth onto the ground and landed with a little splat. As he continued to stare deep into space and the bristled edge of his sneaker toe he began to believe that his eyes were as blue and piercing as the shallow ocean around American Samoa, he believed that his eyes were becoming paler and more beautiful, enticing, alluring…he dreamed with his eyes open until his neck muscles relaxed and he hit his head on the top of the phone box.

be cool, its just a C-

2011-06-20T18:43:00.001-07:00

My goals are modest and revolve more around the difference I can make in a community than any set number of dollars earned or clients served. The difference I want to make in the world with my MBA wont be measured in the number of new franchises opened or steak dinners I’ll be treated too. Instead I will satisfied to see closed store fronts lit up again with the hard work of an idealist entrepreneur. I want to see a world with less waste space, less expansion into nature and better use of the spaces already created by man. I want to use business and my knowledge of the workings of capital to efficiently and responsibly give people the ability to expand their ambitions from the realm of unknowing and imagination into the real world for the benefit of everyone in their community and beyond. I saw today a jet that will transport people from paris to Tokyo in just under three hours. But who benefits from such a machine? There will still be teaming slums in the suburbs of paris full of people who never have the opportunity to leave their daily troubles and foils, much less for a daily jaunt to Tokyo. I believe that as the world becomes smaller for some, the slums become more crowded and pressurized for others. The whole world of professionals is filled with pressure and stress. It’s imperative that you understand that I believe that these people are stressed. The high blood pressure and receding hairlines will not lie, a professional in a suit and tie staying late at the office is as stressed as any other man. I question though what it is that these people are stressed over. The world of professionals in the united states stopped producing things years ago. A twelve hour work day is not possible for those who have a physical aspect to their work. So those who choose to pursue professions that ask nothing of them physically are forgoing the world of the body, which is where instincts and humanity lie. Would any man work through the day if he valued the passage of time? For the people who work from sun up to sun down and well into the darkness of midnight the hours on the clock exist only to prove their dedication to work, however the actual quality of their contribution cannot be increased with each consecutive hour on the job. People require variety and spice in life. Money becomes a blinding driver of irrational behavior, dread and anxiety.

to get ahead of the curve

2011-03-03T15:56:00.000-08:00

Well several shorts memories ago we could have hardly seen such a thing as the present moment. Luckily through advances in medical science and calmness we now realize that the time we are experiencing now is in fact predertimined not from some fantastical place in the future where we are one with the universe but in fact from the ignorance that we expatriate with every moment we are alive and curious. Time was when we did not know who we were or what time was, and as luck would have it gaining the knowledge of a definition of time or in fact more likely creating that definition out of free air did not in fact endow us with any true knowledge of the mechanics of this concept of time, much less the abiliity to manipulate it or move through it in a fluid manner. Rather we are a set of images hastily strung together by a brain designed through generations to create a fluid sense of the world for the purposes of survival and surface level sanity. The eye moves and the pan is edited out instantaneously by the brain. All things look smooth. All looks are seamless. even though optically this is impossible, truly understanding the mechanics of such a thing are beyond the scope of the human experience. Even knowing that there is a limit to the human experience is probably not an ideal trait in an ideally happy person, but I suppose that is not what I am going for and it never was. And to whom should I credit this great deal of knowledge and unhappiness. To whom can I attribute fault. Applying it to myself seems a little unwieldy since I have already imbibed and been of so much unhappy knowledge. None of what I have learned leads me to believe that there is a great god in the sky who is capable of handling the responsibility of my disappointment in the human experience. I think then, that I shall blame all my unhappiness on the next very fat person that I see on the street. Not only fat, but tall too. Someone behind whom I could be totally eclipsed. Only a person of that girth, who is capable of concealing and holding my entire physical being would be capable of holding my entire set of nonsensical disappointments and unhappinesses. I would be pleased to find this person and probably reward them with an unwieldy stare. They could hold all of my fears and all of my hopes in their heavy, slow moving frame.

Fishes? Vietnamese Nonsense? Fuck Yeah!

2011-02-15T15:08:00.001-08:00

Air Waves "Humdrum" from Megazord on Vimeo.

Dippity DO IT

2011-01-30T13:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got my wisdom teeth out. An 11 o’clock appointment and the day off work. So the morning was naturally a gut wrenching affair. There was the high of not having work, and the gut wrenching of having an appointment for a tooth chiseling later. I rose with my girlfriend as she got ready to go to work. Normally I would have made myself a large and sweet breakfast but because I wanted to be put under for the tooth removal I could not eat before my appointment. So instead of making a breakfast, eating it, and cleaning up in the hours I had before the dentist, I decided to get a workout in. I threw on some shorts, a fleece and a hat and busted out the door. I had a nice little workout with some high knees stair stepping, a little weight lifting, and most lovely of all no meatheading. Then, with about an hour to go before my appointment I removed myself from the gym and headed home. On the short walk back home there is a stretch of sidewalk that is, despite new york law, perpetually un shoveled from the snow. It’s a stretch of about 30 or 40 feet with one trammeled path way and the accumulation of a years worth of snow on either side. It is, to say the least, quite a hindrance for the able bodied. And for those of feeble strength of ability it is an impassable obstacle. Well, on this particular day I found a member of our society who met the description of someone perfectly incapable of passing such a daunting test. As I turned the corner to face this dicey path my eyes met on the other side with a very old woman, maybe five feet tall at most, with a cane and a walker. She stood befuddled at the edge of the shoveled walkway trying to muster a strategy or the strength to navigate a path through the snow. My brain clicked into philanthropy mode and I sprang into action. I walked over confidently in my running shoes and shorts and asked the old lady if perhaps she needed a hand. She replied in the affirmative and I began by carrying her walker over the path, then I returned for her. I took her gingerly by her gloved hand and we began across the path, her walking down the trammeled path which was no wider that two feet set together, and I stomping through the powdery stuff. A man came the other way while we were making our way across and seemed quite befuddled as to why we didn’t get out of his way, this old woman and I. It didn’t come as a total surprise that this man expected the weak and feeble to move at his discretion, as he, like most people of this city was a self centered asshole. He eventually saw his only route was to move into the deep snow and around us. We then continued on our way and reached our destination. She requested I bend down, which I obliged, and she gave me a nice old lady kiss right on the cheek that was to become swollen and sore after my surgery.

Toney Bagels

2011-01-27T14:49:00.000-08:00

The single best part of my day, any given day, is saying the term 'bitch maid'. It just brightens everything up.

Yesterday I was waiting on the elevator in my apartment to go get my laundry in the basement. Upstairs one flight I heard some commotion, someone banging on someone elses door. Then I hear a yell from up there 'aye man, hey bro, hey'. Well, that isn't ever a good sign and its never something I respond to. But, I happened to have some flip flop sandals on, so the mans voice yells again, 'bro, sandals, do you know where D3 is at?' Well, this is interesting, because a. I live in apartment 3D, and b. my girlfriend was expecting a package. Now, it is 1030 at night, and this person, were he a delivery man, is more ambitious than any delivery man I have ever encountered. But my interest was peeked. So I walk over to the bottom of the stairway and ask this person if he is delivering a package. The look on his chunky unshaven white face said fuck no, and his mouth said; 'nah, my ni--a lives there, I cant find him'. Aha, of course. 'Ok, well I dont think he's around here man' I say' 'why not yo, where the fuck is D3' 'well, I live in 3D and I dont think your...I dont think your friend lives there'. At this point the elevator shows up, small, cramped, slow elevator that it is. 'Hey wait, hold that elevator' the man says, and I do. He rambles down the stairs and comes right up to me. He is sopping wet with melted snow, he goes up to my chin and smells like cheap sweet wine. 'So you dont know Spanish rick?' 'no, I dont anyone named rick' so the man gets in the elevator, and though I think for a second about sending him off into the night on his own, the elevator is very very slow. So I decide to get into a compact space with no immediate escape route along with this intoxicated distraught stranger. 'my mans went to court today and I haven't been able to find him since, damn, I'm trying to find him' 'oh, wow' 'when I find him I'ma beat his ass' 'aha'. I had directed the elevator to the basement, and the man, drunk and distraught as he was, had neglected to press any buttons. So we arrived in the basement. 'where the fuck we at?' 'this is the basement, I'm getting my laundry' 'alright, be good' and the elevator doors closed and he was on his way.

american tv land

2010-11-12T11:09:00.000-08:00

Americans Crazy?

2010-11-10T06:39:00.001-08:00

Russians - Crazy 2

2010-11-09T07:27:00.001-08:00

Russians - Crazy

2010-11-08T09:31:00.001-08:00

ocotopus disco

2010-11-08T08:07:00.001-08:00

Mimic Octopus Disco from Aérostat D'or on Vimeo.

50 and Kermit

2010-10-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

Space - The Friendly Frontier

2010-10-18T08:59:00.001-07:00

Homemade Spacecraft from Luke Geissbuhler on Vimeo.

Praha

2010-10-15T06:23:00.001-07:00

The 600 Years from the macula on Vimeo.

My First Brazillian Million

2010-10-14T09:00:00.001-07:00

Marcelo D2 - Desabafo
Uploaded by sitaran. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Bottom Pinchers

2010-10-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

I will navigate away from this page. I will set up my office outside of this palace. I will see it, I will know it, I will own it. And me, I, this, we will all be away from the prying eye of the uncaring mind. Nudity now, clarity now, focused on and inside of the mind of a man that i created within my own brain. This is not who I am, this is who I am trying to be, this is unkown uknowns. So here we are, all unknowing why it is we laughed. This is an answer to an unkown question. There is so much left to be done. There is so much left to unveiled. On stage, in public, outwards always. Anyways, my hope now, today, is to be rich and tired and not at all famous. Reitred and full of ambition I will use tired digits to punch letters into a machine and make meaning from my experience here today, my ambition saddling me.

God Will Get In Touch With Me

2010-10-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

Future Value of Time

2010-09-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

At some point in the future does the meaninglessness of the present moment become useful? I am investing my nothingness into something more valuable. Is there anything more valuable than time? Water? I dont know, we are mostly made of water, watery soup wandering the earth in search of meaning, slowly being slurped away by a young woman with a cold. Last night I Dreamed that I had bicycle, I was going on a bicycle ride and the chain slipped off the gears and I tried to put it back on the gear, but the chain was so big and clunky, and the tire so stuck to the ground that is was difficult. Also, the chain had hardly any grease at all, it operated almost from mechanical perfection. Then I dreamed that I was driving along an african street in the middle of the bush, the street was jet black and we were in a congo van. There were many people along the sides of the road, they were vendors. As we went further along the road, further into the heart of the bush the people had lighter and lighter skin until eventually they were Arabs. We got out of the van, Gloria and I, and we walked aroudn the different little tents. There was a feeling of hostility in the air until eventually we found our way into a little toy shop run by a friendly white woman. There were many different toys there but they were all variations on war toys. Lots of plastic guns, a lego tank and some helicopters. I devised a wonderful and viscious battle in my mind and woke up before I realized it.

Barbara Striesand

2010-09-29T07:42:00.001-07:00

Duck Sauce "Barbra Streisand" from Mr Goldbar on Vimeo.

Hairy Ball Theorem

2010-09-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

You cant comb the hair on a coconut. Why would you try. Why would you ask that. Why would answer my question with a question. Are you questioning my question. Dont you even listen to me. Can that be an answer. Cant you understand. Stop combin that goddamn coconut! Consciousness, Dr. Tononi says, is nothing more than integrated information.

2 Handz

2010-09-17T14:14:00.001-07:00

The Ting Tings - Hands from Warren Fu on Vimeo.

Mos Def

2010-09-17T08:03:00.001-07:00

MOS DEF IN SAN JOSE - TRAVELLIN MAN from LP on Vimeo.

Gibbs Visual

2010-09-16T13:29:00.001-07:00

Back in Black

2010-09-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

Days, there are so many kinds, types and typifiers. Pain, there are also gradients of. But in my opinion, from a birds eye view things tend to be in a state of improvement, however from a grounds eye view things tend to devolve over a period of time. That is to say, you struggle today to next week things will be better. And this is the best attitude to take when you are accepting that life is pain, dull and unrelenting. However, what is to be said of those days that are typified by the sense 'its one of those', just another day, another thought, more recycled cat food to throw up in my mouth and swallow for dinner again. Squiched trains and sardine people. The daily commute, like cows. Do cows hate each other? Are they fundamentally greedy? Preying on the weak and the downtrodden, praised when the plot is succesful and the people are fleeced into breeding a version of success that can be easily accounted and quantified. No one. Not even me, is good.

Responsibility

2010-09-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

Please. Lets all take this moment to fully acknowledge and consume the idea that we are all equally not at fault. Its not my fault and its not yours, nor even is it the fault of the third party. I may hate the third party, but still it is not her fault. No, there is no fault, and no work other than that of overcoming the human condition of assigning blame to things, persons, or objects. We are all perfectly buoyant, floating through life until we are no longer. The assignment of blame is a wieght on us. At first a ballast, but eventually our downfall. So let us all let it go. Eat candy, fart, stink up your space and move on. Fuck it.

Eastern Thoughts

2010-09-09T09:33:00.000-07:00

I believe, as of today and this instant that my existense proves nothing. No Descartes, you can suck my balls. Because that affirmation of life, of existance is both abstract and macabre. It takes my existence into a place of complacence. I feel sick from it. No, I choose to feel that my existence proves nothing, and simultaneously that my existence is not unique from the phenomenon that surrounds me. I may be observed by beings I recognize as separate from myself, hear thier obersvations and gestate them, but that does not necessarily make me a separate entity from them and consequently that does not prove beyond any doubt that my existence, evidenced solely by recognition in truth of the comments and reactions affected by my surroundings, is meaningful. And please be clear, that to comment that 'I am', that my existence is asserted is a meaningful statement. I choose, in a certain mood or when it may be more advantageous, to believe that I do exist as a separate and awesome being affecting my surroundings in a definite and intentional manner. However in my most base moments I choose to recognize or contemplate not my existence at all, so that when I come to a negative conclusion that the contemplation of my own existence is proof of a thing in and of itself, I wont be fooled into feeling that this affirmation is inspirational or useful in guiding myself to a happier or more peaceful state of being.

A Finite Intelligence

2010-09-08T09:01:00.001-07:00

So its come to this. Procrastinating my day away, not for the purpose of money so pure and simple as that. No, rather for knowledge. To chase a rabbit down a hole to a world that is intellegent. Where I am celebrated. Maybe not as a god but as some sort of sports hero, or something similarly reasonable, maybe an astronaut. We all can see around us, as clear as day, that no one here is happy. There does not seem to be an escape from it either. Could we ever see each other as equals? Could I even ever understand in another person the uniquely human traits that keep me so alienated. The letter K, it will be more important to you than any other letter. It means, 'I am with it, I submit, the system moves me I dont move the system'. But Believe in yourself! Keep the push alive, from inside. Ride it, like a pony. You're a pony, I'm a pony. We are all magical pony's. We have little hooves and long manes. You and I and we all. We are all so happy in pony land. Hahaha, yes, this is it. Escapism. New years, both jewish and korean. We are all the biggest users of oil and coal, united in our polyglot of consumption. That used to be a disease, now it is a socialogical disorder. That seems to be more impossible to cure. But then again, aren't we all equally impossible. I know you are, so am I.

This Memory

2010-08-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

This memory is a memory of a memory. And that memory itself, is nothing but a memory of another one. Each memory is an experience in and of itself and each experience becames less sharp and less heavy until the feeling and effect of the original tangible experience is nothing but an abstract narrative of our own tendency towards self gratification and the strange channels that our brains grow to prefer resulting from thier environmental inputs. But you know that. And I know that. And I know that you know that I know that.

My Trailer

2010-08-25T09:27:00.001-07:00

I in Box

2010-08-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

I live my life inside. I live inside myself and I keep myself inside. And I will never ever stop this. There will never be an out of doors for me. Becuase in order for there to be an out of doors, there must be a door to go out of. And the closing of that door only begins the search for another door, to know what is on the other side of that door, and to shut myself inside it. Born in a door jam. That is why for me the weather is a diversion. That is why rain and sun and wind are all of the same novelty, not actually effecting my daily life in any way. The weather can no longer make me sick or influence my mood. It is only a detail, an interesting feature of a day that is defined by the steady beat of work, play, sleep. The balance is so perfect and so infallable that even mother natures punishing sluice from the sky cannot dissuade me from my lazer like focus on the quickest possible passage of time in the first part of my day, the maximum possible enjoyment of the second part of my day, and the total oblivion to the meaning and cause of the third part of my day. There is no weather inside an ant colony, so that is where this must be. That is where I am living. An ant colony without a Queen. Because I am she, she is I. And when I die they will put me in a box and bury me inside, under the dirt.

Penguins

2010-08-19T08:19:00.001-07:00

A Scenario, Brainwise (A Highly Fancy Screenplay)

2010-08-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

Sticklebell- I pose this question to you, what if you were to not take a trip to the toilet daily and deposit a big load of poop inside?

Trickleberg - Hohoho, Sticklebell, what a ball tickler of a question you have posed to me! And indeed, my balls are tingling right now, at this very moment. Well, my silly little goose dog, let me answer your question in the most thorough and forceful way possible. I shall answer thusly, Sticklebell, I have thought of this question on many an occasion, perhaps whilst sipping on a daquire or some other such fruitcake drink. And I thought to myself 'I need to drop a pooper in the toilet, but I thinks I should rather not.' And you know what ultimatley caused me to unclench my buttocks and let loose the caboose juice? The question that ultimately has stumped even god himself. When one is constipated, where does the poop go? Back up and out? Eventually sure, but where is it now? It is both in my tummy, yet not going out the poop shoot and into the toilet. Are you in my tummy poop? No, because even the constipated love to eat and everybody knows that eating is motivated by the emptiness of the tummy area.

Sticklebell - Hardy har har Trickleberg, this is laughter coming out of my mouth and kissing your ears. The questions you claim to have posed to yourself is nothing but a childs fancy ice cream cone dropped on the ground. And the crying that the child bequethes unto his mother and her friends, all watching now. What an evil, horrible little child to cry like this for he causes his dear mother to example the old 5 second rule. Wherein she gets down on her knees and laps up from the concrete all the gritty little ice cream droplets for the appeasement of her childs temper. While it may seem grotesque to a plebe like yourself, the basis for this eating is in direct contradiction to your flabby hypothesis. For this mother, like you, eats out of heart motivations. Now look at your paunchy fingers. You eat for emotional reasons

Trickleberg - Oh Lord, oh god I do, boohoohoohoo

Sticklebell - Good, good, yes Trickleberg let it all out for daddy. That is a good little piggy, cry your alligator tears for the world to see. This has been a big day for both of us. I have beaten leukemia with prayer and you have admitted, for the first time in your little piggy life that you eat out of emotion. Let us libate!

Trickleberg - A big day indeed.

Sticklebell - A toast, to my best friend in the world!

Both - Cheers

2010-08-11T13:56:00.000-07:00

People say mind over matter, well I've always been of the opinion that its all about the spine over bladder. You do. What if Rick Ross was capable of putting together a story rap? The sound of Seattle is hip hop? Fuck outta here. Seattle has a sound already, and if it died it wasn't to be replaced by the sound of another place and time. The BX in the 70's, a place I've never been, I will never be. The past, very very long time ago.

Soft Skull Pudding Head

2010-08-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

This is the place where I put down my thoughts. The thought box. The place the think outside of the tabs and margins, where there are no errors. Rhymes inside of rhymes. A triple bypass, having it on your heart. All these thoughts and all this time. The idea that even though things are ok the way they are now they would be ok if they were not this way in the future. But knowing the way things are now, knowing that things are a certain and specific way is what makes the now now and what scares us. What makes us edgy when thinking about the future is all the blank space between now and then that we must live in order to reach the place where things would be ok even if they weren't they way they are now. That is the passage of time, the life, markers on a log or rock or some such trifle. The good times always come at the end of the long hot sticky times that you thought were supposed to be good. In the cycle of time I am constantly misplacing and misappropriating the things that I recall as happy. I am lowering my expectations constantly in an ever escalating battle to find true happiness in the mundane routines and underappreciated overlooked banality of a self indlugent and self admittely uninspiring unimportant individual. This is fueled by drugs, the drug of sugar. And I do know about addiction. My grandparents were addicted to drinking alcohol, my father is addicted to work, myself, I am constantly in delivery.

Burrrrrrr

2010-08-10T07:52:00.001-07:00

Gucci Mane – Mr. Zone 6 | Hood Affairs Exclusive from HOOD AFFAIRS ONDEMAND on Vimeo.

Sweet Poop or A Beautiful Night Poop

2010-08-05T08:04:00.000-07:00

Where to begin, and wher not to begin. Long stringy thoughts with dental floss in them. There is no begining, there will be no end. Whats in store for me? Is there such a thing as wrong number? How can this be, if there is a wrong number then it undermines the nobility of the entire system of counting. No, there are combinations that are unintentional. Wow! That was hard to say, I'm impressed. Good job me. But no, we cant go down this road. The only route to freedom is suppression of the ego. Oh the infinite blessings of low expectations! Infinite I say! To hell with happiness and its inherent fleeting nature. No, I never yearned for that, burned, turned or learned that. I made my way through the streets, through the life by expecting nothing. And what a blessing it is to be int he game, to even be in the discussion. To have a surplus, to maybe even be able to house my friends, help the strangers in the world. Thank you god! Thank you big baby jesus! I dont want anything more. I could stop now and spend the rest of my mortal coil unwinding on the blessings alreayd bestowed upon me! Is anyone reading this? If they were would they treat me so poorly? Pull on my thong. I dont need to live anywhere in relation to anyone, all things are relative except my only friends, those in my head, who are not related even to each other, much less to me, blasphemer.

Oil Admins

2010-08-04T06:21:00.001-07:00

2010-07-30T13:17:00.002-07:00

Pig

2010-07-30T13:17:00.001-07:00

scorpion attack

2010-07-30T13:14:00.000-07:00

Step It Up

2010-07-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

Whale Shit

2010-07-23T13:41:00.000-07:00

The Wide World of Oil

2010-07-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

Where does my support come from. I dont mean who, I mean when. I mean where, I mean where the hell am I? Is this the inside of my brain. Probably inside and a little bit to the left, because the right ear is plugged up pretty good. My right ear, the right ear, Righty! Receipts and expenses and nonsense. Progress, the passage of time, settling down, inertia, an original thought, somewhere in there. Bytes, sounds bites, food bites. Sources, good sources, news sources. Anyways, its today so I guess I'm just going to half ass this nonsense. I suppose that we're all looking forward to the moment of release and then the gradual recoiling dread that will power us through the next round of demorilization and depression. Its raining out! Money, liability, my job. Hobnobbing with the bobs. When are you going to accept that. Is insufficience ever acceptable. Will I ever have a sense of the value of a dollar. I wonder if I am ever going to be a rich hippy, playing my guitar while I sit on the ground in filth, at a commune party with two gay guys from new york being reprimmanded for making fun of me. The first of the line tied to a tree and the last of the line being eaten by ants. Thats interesting imagery isnt it. One imagines a string leading from an ant hill to a tree. An ant highway, the natural enemy oh man. I'll see you in hell, 170,000 geese. Suck my balls geese, suck my balls ants. I'm not going to make any promises, especially not with my money. But, if you do this for me and let me work from home I promise I will be just a little bit happier, even though I know the misery never ends. Never ever forever eva.

Jadakiss - club something

2010-07-22T13:13:00.001-07:00

I dream of oppulence
and awake ashamed
not for how far I am
from the source of my vision
but for the lack of depth

Le Douche

2010-07-21T10:47:00.001-07:00

Ballet! from Ryan Enn Hughes on Vimeo.

The winding blinding malaise of these, the salad days. Soon to be dog and later forgone in the pleasures of learned silence. Unending wants, unquenched. Banana tree writing. The plantation was based not on any realy fruit growing empire, nor in my opinion on the republic, which is an often invoked metaphor, but instead on the tumors that grow quickly on society. Tumors like money and tumors like processed and refined sugars. I would like to own a refinery. Any type of refinery would be fine with me. A sugar refinery, beet sugar that is, or perhaps a pencil refinery, or a nun refinery, or a finance refinery, or a real estate refinery. The only refinery I would never own would be a whale meat refinery. In my opinion it is self evident that whales should not be eaten by people. I believe sharks were created by the whale industry to serve as intermediarys and illustrate the order of eating to those humans who participate in the whaling industry. But of course mankind being the voracious on nonsensical set of individuals we are, came to eat sharks as well. This is disgusting. Not the eating, but the killing.
I am struggling to be productive. Loosely hanging onto my sanity. Wondering in my mind why it is I want to be 'banked up', 'papered out' or 'pocket fat'. Why does that matter to me, am I a Douche? Is this even possible? And if so, at what point will I become snide and arrogant? Already you say? Too late you say?! Oh my, then I suppose there is nothing to be done but over eat and bliss out in the never ending infinitely updated much of the internet universe. I suppose if I even attempted to break out of this cyclical time sump I would burn out in an instant at the horror of what I have become.
But what of my project? What of the me project and the you project? And Africa, I've never even been there! But if I am a douche, and I suppose you would like it if I went with that premise, would you not? If I am douche, and I am full of shit {this claim I wont begin to disclaim because even as I type the claim becomes mor valid} Then is it not only logical that I must be a douche bag, full of shit? And if indeed the perameters of my being are the walls of the douche and inner contents of my being are the shit that fills my bag, then isn't it necessarily true, to avoid the self fulfilling prophecy, that the shit that I am full of is not my own? Of course its not my own? How can one shit into ones own self? One cant! So it must be the shit of another, or rather was the shit of another until it came to constitute the essence of my inner being. Would I be remiss friends, in surmising that it is the shit of none other than one, Big J in the Sky, GOD? Well, regardles of the accuracy, you can see that the claim only furthers validates the hypothesis that I am indeed a douche bag that is full of shit. As for who's shit it was before it became me, I can only surmise, as I have no proper claim to search out the previous owner of a never ending cycle of eating, pooping and populating. Only god can judge me, only god.

Tennis

2010-07-15T14:02:00.001-07:00

Tennis - South Carolina from woodsman man on Vimeo.

My Religion, My God

2010-07-15T12:48:00.001-07:00

My god is a robot in a man suit, he appears in my refelction exactly 50% of the time I look in the mirror and never when I look into a still pond. Ducks in the pond. People in the wrong. Palm fronds and slow songs. Going back to college, the genius pond. Going back to the aquarium, the library, the book ocean. The word river, the comma donwnpour. I keep it this way to keep you up to date. Up on the things you cant tell from not seeing me. The negative space. The negativity. The cavities and gravity of the situation. Good, natural, indian teeth. The make sharp tampons, floaty boats, four walls on this boat here boy, and a sexy engine. Do you have time? Does anyone have time for herion, have time for weed, have time for drugs. So lets all go into technicolor debt and fall down the well, well well of smell. Lets take an acid trip, an acip road trip to Philly. Lets meet in the bedroom. Lets do the bedroom things. Lets all light up the room with our smile, the whole little while. Drippings from my mind pen. Weak metaphors, tricky movies, no cohesive thoughts. Culpability. Prosecute these NUTS motherfucker. Murder was the case they gave my nuts. Its hot side these nuts. I like to go swimming in the lake and nuts off with a towel. Nuts.

"Playa (Mexicans With Guns Remix)"

2010-07-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

"Playa (Mexicans With Guns Remix)"

Bugs

2010-07-15T06:43:00.001-07:00

Jeezy; Lose My Mind

2010-07-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

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Wierdness for The BRAIN

2010-07-12T07:51:00.001-07:00

When Humans Ruled the Earth from Stephen Ong on Vimeo.

Get To Know Your Friendly Local Big Boi

2010-07-08T10:59:00.000-07:00

PROFILE: Big Boi from dee vazquez on Vimeo.

Submarines In the Jungle

2010-07-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

Its time to remind your mind why it is you survive, reach deep down and thrive. its hard to say though, what the technique is. Film school or music music. Hard to say. Where will I be supreme? Where will I be better accpeted. Better to not know, better never to be recieved at all. Oh silly questions, silly need for approval, silly future so uncertain. Anyways, every Monday morning I reach deep down inside and grab ahold of the strength I need to mope my ass into work. Always all out, always trying hard, my head always weighs 600 pounds and tells the truth. I try to always tell the truth because thats what makes the most sense to me, I have faced the demon and batted his ass out the park. Gangsters aren't men, necessarily, not the responsible type anyways. And I without worldly knowledge am little more or less. How flattering to think of myself as a nine to five person. My production, my technique. Brutal boredom, Banana plantation.

Reflection Eternal - Oil - HELLA POLITICAL

2010-07-07T07:20:00.001-07:00

Reflection Eternal "Ballad of the Black Gold" from Sam Ellison on Vimeo.

Weezy Steady Mobbin -Oooh Kimosabe-

2010-07-06T13:14:00.001-07:00

Lil Wayne Ft Gucci Mane - Steady Mobbin,. from Roxanne Brown on Vimeo.

ROSS; 300 Soldiers

2010-07-06T12:56:00.001-07:00

Jeezy I'm Saying Tho

2010-07-06T10:53:00.001-07:00

Apparently Hooligans Once Roamed The Streets of NYC

2010-07-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time in a part of New York Titty I hope to never encounter shit was real, really, realer than real and people struggled to survive. Now all we do it get fat and die and talk about how stupid trucker hats were. All we do is wake up early and spend our days tired and over eat and drink too fast and crack our toes and watch movies that make us complain. All we do is thank goodness its not as hot out today as it was yesterday. We feel the sunshine beaming for a little less long on this corner of the earth. We feel the shadows creeping in.

Twista, Riverside Motherfucka

2010-06-28T12:13:00.001-07:00

Pharcyde Drop

2010-06-25T06:39:00.001-07:00

The Pharcyde - Drop from john E Njoki on Vimeo.

?uestlove and Blackthought on Life...

2010-06-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

PROFILE: Black Thought & Questlove (The Roots) from dee vazquez on Vimeo.

I Put On A Show

2010-06-22T14:08:00.001-07:00

Create your own playlists at LiveMixtapes.com

Fuck a Mixtape

2010-06-22T13:12:00.000-07:00

Fuck a Mixtape

bizzack to the story raps, thank you TIP

Lazerproof

2010-06-22T13:09:00.000-07:00

Lazerproof

2010-06-17T21:20:00.001-07:00

To Sleep

2010-06-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

Don't cause your own downfall. Your hubris will be the death of you, and your believers will meet their own demise in the shadows of your crushed ego. How many times does 132 go into 100. How many times must I say it, there is no percentage to truth, no fraction and no function. The truth be told, is functionless, ineffective and unproductive. It motivates no one, it sleeps naked. I would encourage you however to be more open minded and less driven by the time constraints of you mortal body. Your mortal time on earth should not be spent screaming into the night. Compaining about your fellow man or keeping your mouth shut when the times are tough. Talk, man, Be real, keep it real, be social, keep it social. Be as unfit as you want to be but dont forget that our well being is as shocking to others as their existence is to themselves. Be powerful but undaunted. I will see you in your childrens dreams.

Kanye Power

2010-06-16T13:29:00.001-07:00

Power from Brock Mills on Vimeo.

"32 leaves dipped in blackness making clouds forming altered carbon"

2010-06-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

"32 leaves dipped in blackness making clouds forming altered carbon"

Weezy & Others

2010-06-16T11:25:00.001-07:00

Birdman - New Music - More Music Videos

Black Keys

2010-06-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

Big Boi; Remix

2010-06-14T11:18:00.001-07:00

A Man On Drugs

2010-06-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

We all have anxiety. Sometimes when I take a shower I am anxious I might slip and fall and bloody myself, which would completely negate the cleaning properties of showering. In this way the anxiety I feel about everyday life is less a state of confused nervousness than a statement on the meaninglessness of life. I don't necessarily fear the slipping in the shower as much as I fear that by bloodying myself I would have wasted my time in the shower. And such it is with life. I don't fear the retribution of enemies as much as I fear my own cowardice in the face of aggressive friendship, slipping into old habits and regressing. So what can one do? Are drugs ever an answer or is the temporary relief from the pressure of daily life to advance and grow always negated by the hangover and the yearning for a return to that inebriated state. You knew it was fake when you were in it, so why does the return to reality feel so crushing? I think I need to scuba dive, that's real pressure. I doubt the pressures that I feel in this highly fales environment are comparable to the weight of thousnads of cubic feet or turbid water pressing down on every inch of my person. Imagine being a bat ray or a mooray eel. Anyways, life is a drug and if I took the same attitude of determined examination to my state of being while under the influence of mind altering agents to the completely morose normalcy of sitting on my ass in front of a computer avoiding studying for an important test I may learn something important about the nature of being alive. Goddamnit I wish there was sauce in this seltzer water.

Starving like Somalia

2010-06-14T06:46:00.001-07:00

Rick Ross BMF

2010-06-11T12:23:00.001-07:00

B.M.F. (Blowing Money Fast) - RICK ROSS from MAYBACH MUSIC EMPIRE on Vimeo.

Rick Ross - Just Saying Remix + Gunplay - Heavy from MAYBACH MUSIC EMPIRE on Vimeo.

Ciara Ride

2010-06-10T20:36:00.000-07:00

fish are awesome

2010-06-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

Operation Blessing International - Haiti Fish Farms - (10 mins) from OB UK on Vimeo.

Whatever After

2010-06-08T19:13:00.000-07:00

Bumping shoulders is the beginning of the home court advantage. A nameless event that stuns everyone. Let me re analyze an old bit. Let me dig a little bit deeper here. Do the work, until I am tired, until there is nothing left. That is the standard that I hold myself to. That is what I believe in. Funniness is only funny once. Don't ask me to laugh at that, please don't ask me to laugh at that harsh humor two times. That is sad. This is sad. I am sad. Be me then. Be it then. Yell when you dunk. Be a giant. A giant among giants. Make fun of history. Be the quickest. The is one name, one name that is famous at one time but only one time at a time. Spiralling out og control. What is it that you do again. What is it that you are making fun of. How long does it take to catch up to what you dont understand. Especially in the event that you don't truly understand what it is that you are undertaking. There is spanish in the air. The language and the culture and the cultural off shoots of the language. That is nothing. So don't look, its not important. It is me. I am afraid of being found out so I dive in deep and bury myself in these sheets and pillows. I make myself a fort of works and sentences and nonsense as well.
An athlete, according to the dream dictionary that I have consulted on the internet. Is an individual who emobies memorable and acknowledgable accomplishments. An athletes accomplishments are easily measured and patently obvious. But I prefer not to use the term 'patently' and I loathe the term 'obvious'. Obvious is a cop out, it does not lead to flow, it is the end of a thought, a conclusion and a conclusion that never bothered to include anyones opinion but its own. Obvious can suck my balls. This has really been a pathetic writing performance. No one is performing well. Allow me to digress, there are so many people that are eager to jumpp around in their thoughts. The traditions that build up around the things we think are important and are obviously not. Bad question magic.
A family moment, provided to you by greed. The oil spill. This is a nice night. In the future it may be raining on the night of the NBA finals because of the events happening in the gulf of mexico. Or it might snow.

MOBB DEEP SHOOK ONES

2010-06-03T13:54:00.001-07:00

[Music] MOOB DEEP - "Shook Ones part II" - Album "The Infamous" (1995) from Jutix - Julien Castanier on Vimeo.

Long Damaging Weeks

2010-06-03T13:35:00.000-07:00

Weeks alone, weeks in pain. A week of being taken advantage of. A week of kindness. A week of toughness. Weeks and weeks and weeks here in the dimming light. The light before the light arrives. Angry light and flourescent light for weeks. Weeks staring at myself in the mirror. Weeks avoiding myself. Weeks afraid. Annoying weeks. Hateful weeks. Impossible weeks making the coming weeks impossible. You can't live by weeks. You live by months and next month is mine.

Gucci Mane Lemonade

2010-06-02T13:31:00.000-07:00

GUCCI MANE LEMONADE from DHEKIDIZREAL on Vimeo.

OMG TWIIIIIIINS

2010-06-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

Weezy + Eminem Drop the World

2010-06-01T07:01:00.001-07:00

dirty drop the world from mohammad horli on Vimeo.

Major Lazer MaryJane

2010-05-28T08:14:00.000-07:00

MAJOR LAZER MARY JANE MADBALLS from TROY CUMMINS on Vimeo.

Boobs Balloon

2010-05-27T19:16:00.001-07:00

Major Lazer Zumbie (Sloth Cut)

2010-05-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

MAJOR LAZER SLOTH VID from TROY CUMMINS on Vimeo.

Major Lazer Zumbie

2010-05-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

Major Lazer "Zumbie" ft. Andy Milonakis from Mad Decent on Vimeo.

Leftfoot That

2010-05-27T10:05:00.001-07:00

Big Boi - Shutterbugg from Jae on Vimeo.

Boomboxes Not Toys

2010-05-25T21:02:00.000-07:00

Sadness Night Live

2010-05-24T13:17:00.000-07:00

Oil Spill

Dr. Dog My Old Ways

2010-05-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

JULIAN CASABLANCAS - 11TH DIMENSION (DEFINITIVE HD CUT)

2010-05-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

A Case Of The Poop Calling The Fart Stinky

2010-05-20T10:30:00.001-07:00

people have all the luck and sometimes those are the same people who have no luck at all. Lets try to remember that luck comes in two flavors, namely root beer and poop beer. For the most part people seem to think that beer is beer, but let me tell you one thing. Poop beer is beer only in name, in reality it is carbonated diarhea. Get your money, make your dollars and keep on getting it in. Do what you want to do. And if that makes me feel a certain way then you did that.

A Case Of The Poop Calling The Fart Stinky

Juelz Santana; Back to the Crib

2010-05-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

Juelz Santana ft. Chris Brown - Back To The Crib from The Ghettonerd Company, LLC on Vimeo.

Mutant Ninja Turtle

2010-05-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

Freddie Gibbs; The Ghetto

2010-05-19T08:16:00.001-07:00

OMG

2010-05-18T13:57:00.001-07:00

Usher ft will i am - OMG from Josh Hickman on Vimeo.

2010-05-18T08:49:00.000-07:00

In the future all of our photos will move back and forth. They will also all be crazy as shit and not make any sense. In the future my hair will be long and luxurious (lugrius) and wave to and fro. But it wont be an afro, or even a wafro or jewfro, it will be locks, trust me. But that is what I used to have. Can any one be ready to be what they used to be?

8 Arm Menace

2010-05-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

Dr. Dog Shadow People

2010-05-17T19:35:00.000-07:00